Goodbye?

I don’t have much to say other than something about goodbyes. I thought that the more times I would have to say goodbye, the easier it would get. I believe that’s true to a certain extent but why do I still get sick and nervous to say goodbye? Is it because I hate the goodbye or is it because I dread the” in between life” that I live while I travel? I think it is because I hate being neither the girl from school nor the girl from her hometown. This messes with me and I find it hard to deal with.

I was just telling my best friend that most people find it very difficult to be one person while living essentially two lives. I noticed, more on this break than any other, that people change dramatically. They not only change dramatically over time, but also going between situations. I myself have found this difficult but I think I have found a sort of synergy between my two selves. This took me a long time and I can tell that many people around me have yet to be able to do this. So with people having difficulty with this, do I have to say goodbye to the people that I knew and say hello to the different people that have now taken over? Am I expected to accept that people have two personas or should I be frustrated?

Personally, I am frustrated. A friend of mine lives by the statement “To thine own self be true.” Anyone should and must stay true to this statement in every situation and scenario they face. If they don’t, they are fake to me and do not know who they are. To me, that is no life to live. So… moral of the story, you may live two lives but you must merge the two in order to gain a harmony of self. Living an “in between life” every few weeks or months may be difficult but it is so worth it if you can have the opportunities to see and experience entirely new things. This makes the goodbyes tolerable. They won’t ever become easy, but they will become doable and that’s all I can ask for.