You know when you've moved on from someone, when you're finally able to sail away and be your own person again. Its an epiphany. Even though it is actually so hard to let go, there is literally one moment when you can see yourself without them. To me, that is the moment when you can listen to the songs that reminded you of him/her and not feel a knife through your heart or a punch to the gut. When you can listen to "Vanilla Twilight" or any other random song that you had together and actually smile without the pain and anger. No tears shed, no headache, no frown.... just a smile. That smile symbolizes the fact that you can look past all of the crap from the past and see the good memories. It is in the one moment that you can finally begin to look again.... or rather... open yourself up to be found again.
The one hard part is... letting them move on as well. Its always easiest to say you're going to do "you're own thing" but you're never entirely happy about letting them do their own thing as well. Its not fair to either one of you and that is why the awkwardly long break up exists. Has there ever been a clean break-up? There's always this awkward dance between two people and a crap load of crappy emotions. I don't blame a single person for having a ridiculous break up that is almost impossible to end. To me the word break-up is just that... its a break that isn't clean... its jagged and hurts both people.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
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